Rendezvous
15 June 04 : 05.53 AM
My head spun like an intoxication while I was walking down the stairs.
"Low blood pressure? Stress? Imagination?" Theo suggested. I offered him the brownies my sister baked and he thought they were fantastic.
I didn't answer Andrew's calls all day because I didn't know what we're going to talk about.
"Let's watch the sunrise together," he said. And I agreed previously. Arranged a place, arranged a date but it's a promise I know I won't keep. I used to trust him. But I realized you cannot judge a person by his words.
Why is it I believe it when Drey tells me she misses me, but not when it's friends like Esther?
Words are cheap. Words are violent.
Drey lets me dream, and dreams alongside. I appreciate her so much.
There's this ethereal feel in my room at the break of day. When night shifts to another place and stark morning slithers in. The soft, dim orange of my room retires into a dusky, beige cold kind of warmth. It's so hard to describe how it's really like, or even the effect it has on me. Like an anesthetia. Drugged. Raw. You see, there are still some things words can never do.
I stayed awake that whole night, listening to the Chi-Lites, and when it was bright outside my window I switched to Jason Mraz.
But still I could not bleed the words that I feel is stirring within me.
I've been waiting so long for life to begin, that I failed to notice how it's already passing me by. A second, a minute, an hour, a day.
Someone love me.