Rendezvous
18 April 05 : 03.17 AM
Reading her blog, always gives me a sense of detachment. I think she's beautiful. I think she's beautiful inside out. She's someone I can be jealous of because of her perfection and imperfection. In her imperfection, there's something very beautiful about it.
It's been so long since I'm feeling this way. Ever since Christian, I don't feel empty and oppressed anymore.
School's started. I don't know how long I'll take to really grasp that. It's like my life, maybe even our lives, is just waiting for that one big thing to happen before everything will be okay, before I can start living again. It's like we're all just waiting. It's like I'm just waiting.
2 years ago, I asked myself, who can I call at this moment when I'm feeling down? So many, too many in fact. Just now, feeling so empty and so scared, there isn't anyone I can call anymore. I don't know why.
The waiting for it, is always worse than it happening.