Rendezvous
24 December 05 : 04.31 AM
Dancing on the podium at Thumper with Kim and Michelle. I saw someone I know working there, and I felt this disgust that even I don't understand. Dancing at Bar None with Joshua, watching the live band play songs by U2, Guns N' Roses and such. Joshua couldn't enter Thumper because the bouncers wouldn't let him, but he said to one of them, I may be younger, but that didn't shrink the size of my wallet, and brought his business to Bar None. Joshua teased me about something, and when he saw that I was embarassed, he laughed, gave me a tight hug and three kisses on my cheek. I miss Joshua; how I stroked his arm while he was getting his tattoo. I want us to suck coffee through a straw we'd share, and Freddie is with us, and we act our age again.
It's a Friday night today, and I slept my evening away even though I had a free movie I could go for. At 9.28pm, I received a message from b. and the message read,
"If you were a villainess in a movie I direct, you will find your just desserts on your doorstep."
And I knew, like an instinct, that he'd left desserts at the gate, and I knew the desserts were the same desserts we'd went around looking for that few times I was craving for it, and I knew, somehow, he'd place the desserts he likes with those I like too.
They couldn't be more different; the one I like tasted better heated and thick like cake batter, and his, was cold and light. If they were fabric, mine would be cashmere, soft and warm, while his is silk, cool to touch and glides over his tongue.
So I met him, and he took me to Clifford Pier where we watched these motorboats disappear into the darkness, and we went for supper after. I was moody, and he knew, and I appreciate that he could tolerate that. It was 2.38am on the digital clock of his car when the Azure Ray song ended and we parted.
Marilyn and I took a cab home to my place yesterday or the day before for supper because we were broke, and we made ourselves curry-flavored instant noodles and she left my place by 3.30am. In the cab I asked her, "Are you over him?". She laughed and said, "No, not really." and I told her I can't see that sometimes.
Then she said to me, which made my heart bleed a little, "Sometimes you seem like you're over him too."