Rendezvous
02 March 06 : 01.57 AM
Maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong...
Jeff Buckley on repeat, soft places in between the sheets of my bed. Tonight it's especially cold. Knowing I won't be at school tomorrow, I just can't sleep yet.
I can't talk to Geist about him. He makes me quite resentful, and I don't want to be. I want to smile to myself thinking of how he and Ann used to try to unlock my bathroom door while I shower knowing they won't succeed; thick coins, shhhs and stifled giggles of a little girl. Sometimes I let him, and we're alone, and I kiss him with my feet still in the water. I don't want resentment, strong emotions mean he means something.
I haven't drowned in a while. Will you let her cut your hair, and let it fall to where you'll never step on again? So many false messiahs along the way, I'm surprised you haven't faltered. You look prettier dying smaller gaunt. I can't help it, I hate affections. Aren't these crazy words?
No I'm not lonely. I don't think I've ever been.
Cause sometimes a man must awake to find that really he has no one.