Rendezvous
09 March 06 : 09.10 PM
Talking to him makes me miss him. When I don't, it's fine but now I am and I do.
Americans don't want their cowboys gay says: anyway i miss you too. i miss your the dumplings guy crap and your lyrics and singing and the fact that you chose to spend time with me over such luminaries as that julius guy.
10minutesdreaming. says: you'll get along with desiree. she likes the stuff you like and she's really a movies person.
Americans don't want their cowboys gay says: ok, i think i exceeded the 17 year old friend quota by 1
Then I went to read back on our message history on messenger and smiled to myself, from the first time we talked online (that is, having met only once), asking me if I'm bicurious to joking about gooboy to come on looks, that one time he said, bye vicarious vicki and I said bye banana boy and he asked why banana and I told him b for banana and I could totally see him rolling his eyes in front of his screen. Then came the mean arguments and the crying and I skipped that part about rebound fucks and manipulation and my attention-thirst.
We were Chance from the first time we met in a club we both hadn't wanted to go, to the time he walked me to the cab and we started quarreling. We were Chance because that first time we met, I knew I wanted to talk to him again, but I knew we couldn't. There were nice times, but I think we're not going to remember that now.
That time, he called me an attention-seeking kid who was used to having guys throw their attention at me no matter how I acted towards them that's why I lack empathy and that this will eventually "leave an unsavoury taste in all self-respecting guys' mouths" and that I have no moral centre.
How can I miss him and how can he miss me?
10minutesdreaming. says: let's meet soon. after your exams, or smth.
Americans don't want their cowboys gay says: ok, ask lenny along.
10minutesdreaming. says: no, just us, please
Americans don't want their cowboys gay says: ok, tereza. i'm off now.
This is really bad.