Rendezvous
31 May 06 : 04.36 AM
Why I Love the Stupid Girls of Hollywood
- How else can I download free pornography without having to brave the entire world wide web of pop-ups waiting to engulf my computer with Jenny McCarthy's breasts or penis enlargement advertisements? While we have Singapore's very own Tammy for that purpose, the night-vision mode in Paris' home video makes for better cinematography. Good job, Paris.
- They have the Stupid Girls of the world emulate them, and really, it can be so funny. Who can pull off the rags and shades that cover two-thirds of the face, the way the aneroxic Olsen twins do? No one, but still, they just keep trying. It's a laugh, really.
- Their dating failures reflect our own. From dating silly men to bitch-fighting over oil heirs, haven't we all experienced that? We've dated the air-headed losers (Wilmer Valderrama), the rich but ultimately useless assholes (Paris My-Father-is-an-Oil-Typhoon) and handsome, cheating bad boys (Kevin Federline). Surprise, surprise, so have they! If they all had boring, frigid love lives like that of Reese Witherspoon, they wouldn't be making the cover of Cosmopolitan every other month.
- It's the congregation of the world's bitchiest and sluttiest teenagers. This is reality television at its best. From drink-splashing on each other's faces, to not inviting one another to parties, to stealing each other's boyfriends and boycotting events when another is turning up, this is one hell of a bitchfest, no one odd to miss.
- Their lives make ours look jarringly moral and ethical. So what if I've given head to every guy friend of mine and my dad's? She's been fucked by everyone in New York, and Brooklyn. The downside of it, is that the moral balance is slightly off centred, as young girls who idolize these women turn into the hedonistic bitches with gapping vaginas these celebrities are. Remember thinking that Britney was bad because she preached about keeping her virginity while thrusting her cleavage into every camera a mile radius from her? On hindsight, at least she tried to look like a good Catholic girl. Even Britney seems like a nice, wholesome girl put next to camera-whores like Fire-Crotch Lohan.
- They make not-so-smart girls seem really really smart. Britney might just be the best role model for young girls now. She's finding solace in religion, she's settled down with a guy and giving birth all the time! Plus, she's no longer producing albums, and that's always a good thing. On the flipside, we could all look forward to more Ashlee lip-synching and Paris reggae.
It just gets more and more interesting.