Rendezvous
08 July 06 : 07.45 PM
First off, I lied again. I lie. And there's no way to mitigate that statement or to sugar-coat it.
Like Saul Williams said, "Man, I could use a metaphor but I can't get beyond this shit."
I lie.
But if you knew me in person or you've read this before, then you probably already know that.
Plus, it was National Piss the Shit Out of Vicki day yesterday. (This is my site and I'm allowed to be egocentric like that)
First, Kim ran off to meet her other SPG "friends". I know I'm being judgmental here, but that's just another of my thing. We can't seem to hang out anymore (slack shorts, dvds & a lot of laughter) because every time we go out it feels like another meet-people-hook-up-guys escapade. She can argue against it, she can deny it, but that's just how I feel. And I'm not very good at expressing sadness/disappointment anymore, it just comes out curt and catty.
I love her, I do. She's an amazing friend, but that aspect of her is just not what I want to handle. Talking about the different degrees of racism with Trevor these days further stiffened my views on it.
Then there's matthew. He asked me to go Zouk. Previously, Felicia had asked me too, and I said okay, call me later. So I told him I might be going with my friends, maybe not, I'm lazy.
That brings me to another point. School ended at about 5 for no good reason at all. We were supposed to stay back for some shitty book talk about Tuesdays With Morrie, the best thing that happened to mankind since sliced bread. What the fuck? If we had a more eloquent speaker, maybe we would have learned something, then Rose, Min and I need not fold handouts into planes and throw them at each other.
Back to Matthew. So yes, I was lazy and tired from being at school until so late, so maybe I don't really want to go Zouk. Then he said to me, "When did you become so boring?"
So not wanting to go Zouk is boring? I wanted to say, well you've been wanting to go Zouk for years now and I don't see you becoming an interesting person. But because I was having dinner with my aunt, I left my phone in my bag and by the time I saw the 3 missed calls he gave and that message, it was already half an hour after he sent it, and I didn't want him thinking I needed 30 minutes to think up a reasonably retort. So I just ignored it.
Then Felicia pissed me off because she didn't pick up her phone, and I was too annoyed to call Sam or the rest, and my aunt was leaving, so I decided to go home with my aunt. That was about 9.45pm. She called me at 12am, said she didn't see my call, and in fact, was pissed off at me for not picking up hers. She asked me to meet them, and even wanted to pay for my cab fare down, but then my annoyance subsided and all I wanted to do was watch Sex & the City episodes.
John too, who was heading for HollandV with Darren and Kay, called me. He told me, wait for my call, Darren will pick you up from your place. So I said okay, I'll be waiting. And then Kay calls me 2 SATC episodes later telling me they're on their way. Do I still want to go? Firstly, I waited an entire hour for that phone call, no shit way am I going out now. I could have been pissed off, but I think I wasn't because I was completely riveted by the whole Aidan & Carrie thing. I couldn't wait to see how Carrie's gonna get the money to buy her apartment, despite the fact that I already know, having watched it about 3 times or so.
And yes, I lied. And it makes me a bad person.
You know what kills me most? That if I had a choice to do it again, I'd still tell him that same lie.