Rendezvous
07 October 07 : 04.40 AM
What was that. I think I heard it before.
It was iDisco from iNineties in iKL. Tonight we went to iRumours (rumour? rumours?) because we were sick of all the usual shit. Jon has a friend who's the drummer in the band playing there so we all went there. It was fucking great. All the mandarin songs and eurotrash music. The outlandishly dressed people. We had no inhibitions; all the crazy dance moves yes they still dance in front of the mirror!, play-acting to dramatic Cantonese songs, stealing somebody's crackers and cigarettes and calling people "old". (It's so fun to call old people old to their faces when you're young. HAHA.) And fuck, they've got fucking good bar top dancers from China! No cellulite!
But then after the music, after leaving, there's always that certain silence that silences you. Silenced by silence, maybe.
My brother got me to smoke with him at the lawn. It was 4.45am then. He smoked 3 just talking to me. As much as he gets me all irritated at times (he's an older brother, what do you expect?), as childish and ill-disciplined he may be, tonight I understood why in spite of everything, I still love him.
All the talk about his childish days. Like this one time a guy called for my sister and scolded him or something. He went down to school and right outside the general office, grabbed his collar and pushed him against the display board. Someone pulled him away I think. Or when I used to talk to this guy on the phone. He took the phone and teased that guy about being a "gangster". The guy wanted to get people to beat him up, and he just kept saying PLEASE. Please beat me up. You know where I live so please just come and beat me up. Or after that fighting incident (me & cocksucking slutface) at school, EVERYONE (and I mean everyone. Alex came up to me and asked, "your brother's in a gang?") knew he was my protective brother. Which both felt embarrassing and good at the same time.
The point is, there is no point to this. I am just trying to stay up so that I wouldn't be able to wake up at 10am. Because that's the time Danii said he'll be over. But I'll wake up at 9.30am, always early. And he'll be here past 12, always late. So what do I do now? I wait now so I don't wait later. How ironic, how pathetic.