Rendezvous
08 November 07 : 04.42 AM
Today a guy came up to me and asked if I'm Vicki. I said yes, curiously, and asked how he knew. For a second I thought maybe he's one of the many insurance agents that hound me near my school. But he said he knew me from my Friendster profile. I laughed and asked if I really looked like how I do in the pictures. He said yes, but skinnier in person. He doesn't know it's only recent.
The weight is shedding slowly. I no longer feel hungry anymore, and I can never finish my meals. I forget to eat too. People are asking me to eat all the time now. I look into the mirror appalled because I don't recognize this body. My breasts feel different and my calves are tighter. I've always wanted to be skinnier, but now I just feel changed.
The weight loss has been gradual, months already perhaps. But I had always been eating normally. However it's different now, where even I'm aware of the amount of food I actually consume on a daily basis.
I'm not thin, and I'm probably still more voluptuous than the average Chinese. But maybe I'm just disgusted by the way I'm losing the weight. The way I can't eat anymore. The way I eat just to please others. The way I eat just so I don't get those gastric pains I get ever so often. The way I eat because that's just what I'm used to doing at certain times of the day.
The way the last time I remember being hungry and enjoying food was two Saturdays ago having dinner with the boy who's no longer here.