Rendezvous
03 December 07 : 02.50 AM
It's funny how I can be wrapped up in tinfoil, be floating around like a molecule with a fish bowl over my head and still be thinking about you. The earth looks garish from my vantage point, every bit like the watercolor paintings i used to do as a child where the earth would be a spherical sea of inky blue and green just without the layers of ozone and cloud on top like gauze dressing. Everything is as I had imagined it to be so i wonder why i'm here exploring in the first place when I'm only seeing images from my mind superimposed on reality-I wonder if the universe has let me down or if I have underestimated the powers of my imagination. Either way, I'm hardly starry-eyed at all- I came all the way here to run away from you and all I can think about is of curling up into a foetal position on my bed as you nurse me back to wellness;like you always do, like you did. If I were to cry here would the absence of gravity cause my tears to spiral upwards instead and fall down again as rain; I can imagine you dancing and exulting in the outpouring of my sorrow, the way the Africans do when their prayers for showers of healing have been answered and they dance and dance upon the once barren land they used to walk on. And oh yes, i will be on TV, you might just see me leapfrogging across the moon, either way, you'll probably be microwaving popcown or wrapping yourself like ivy around the new guy on the block as you both make out to the distant voices from the speakers-"It's a another giant leap in history!", they would say.(And a giant leap backwards for me to the days of melancholy, booze and sickness)
I would string the planets for you if i could, you would wear them around your neck, hold the universe in your hand. It's getting quite hard to write in here so I just want to let you know that should you ever lose sight of the ground you're walking on, we could walk on air together , get lost in space and shower the earth with our tears here where everything goes up but never down. Love.
- Lester's.
Something I find so excruciatingly beautiful.
Pasted here not linked back, because he left not to be found, and I respect that.
The other day we talked a bit, and he mentioned something that I found so entirely true. That so many people talk or comfort others in the hope of saying something so life-altering that perhaps a single sentence would turn one's life around. The way we see in movies, ever so often. Then I said that I think a lot of people listen or want to be comforted, in the hope that they would hear something life-enhancing so that they'll never feel that way again. At least I know I feel that way.
Blood smells like how metal tastes like. I had congealed blood on my hands and in my nails just now, but I feel like I'm still soiled. There must be something else to think about.