Rendezvous
16 March 08 : 12.33 PM
I hate being looked at. As someone who has had crude boys for schoolmates whistle at me from afar and sometimes say mean things in an attempt to be funny, who has had men (old enough to be my father) ogle at me, being looked at makes me cower. Attention is, sometimes (though not always), sordid and unforgiving. I can imagine though, that a lot of girls will bask in that attention. I think they do things to get that kind of attention. That's just beyond me, I understand it but I don't get it. Being looked at makes me feel exceedingly uncomfortable and self-conscious.
So you can imagine how it feels like having to do a photoshoot.
It's a one time thing, a shoot my communications professor asked me to do for her. She literally has a day job apart from teaching, being a communications director at a truly important agency. The shoot, she said, would be the cover story for a magazine. Though with zero interest whatsoever in modeling, I found myself slightly excited by the notion. She asked, and I haven't done it before (apart from the photoshoot my mommy made me do at 10 that doesn't count), so I decided, why not? I think a lot of girls would like that if they were me.
So I went. It's not a big deal, I'm overreacting. It's not like I'm on the cover of vogue or anything. I had some awkward poses, that would probably end up looking nice, after all, the guy styles for Mediacorp. But I did pick up one or two make-up tricks, and laughed with Andii as I showed her some weird stuff they made me do. So that's okay I guess.