Rendezvous
11 June 09 : 03.46 PM
The night before he left, we'd talked in the dark, just the two of us in the room. He kept kissing and kissing and stroking me. Just a few nights ago, I went a little crazy about something we'd lost and in turn he lost his cool over that. And the night before that where I threw my phone at him and he packed all my things. Pushed me away hard when I held his arm.
The other night, blood and heat, Edde drove me to the hospital but prior to that, I was at home looking at things and reading stories I know I shouldn't be. I had a fever but sometimes when you're numb, you really just don't feel these things anymore. My boy was still cold from the fight we had the night before. For a moment he forgot and he put his arm around me but he promptly moved away.
In any case, last night when I was walking home, thinking about how I'd left my Ipod at his place and how quiet the travelling to work would be, he called. The last trip he didn't call a single time. He said he misses me like crazy. I think about how he had put his palm over my forehead to see if I was still burning up when I was asleep. Or how concerned he'd sounded when I got scared of the blood I saw. Or how he'd kissed me tenderly before he left for work even though I knew he was still mad at me. Sometimes I don't see it, but when I do, I know I'm loved. Not in the way I thought love should be like, but the truth is, that's the best thing about it.