Rendezvous
08 August 04 : 04.00 AM
He calls. And I am the one who's trying to keep up the conversation. Is that how it works? Calling someone and letting the other party do the talking. But why do I still talk? If it were anyone else, I would have just hung up, or stayed on the line not talking too, like it was some kind of unspoken competition.
But I talk. I ask questions. I ask more questions, even those I already know the answers to. I say things that make him laugh. I talk and I wonder why I did.
He asks if we could meet up, or that he could come over. It's 2.30 a.m. I tell him no.
Then he asks me a question that I knew would change our already so mutilated friendship. I didn't want it to change. We were becoming more normal already.
"Honestly. It's not a no. But neither is it a yes." I said to him.
Am I lying or am I just not being very honest?
We hang up. I'm writing this.
He's calling and I'm not picking it up. I'm tired.
"Consider the question, yea?" He writes.
I'm just not up for anymore regrets, okay?