Rendezvous
24 December 04 : 12.00 AM
After Zam and I parted, I walked the night streets alone. It was ten and it was still crowded. There was a mechanical christmas jingle playing, swaying (fake) christmas trees ornated with bells of lights, people carrying bags and bags of newly bought stuff. Christmas permeated in the air like a heatwave. Except, I couldn't feel it.
It was cold; a little chilly though I was wearing a sweater. I overheard a couple in front of me speaking.
"I asked her, don't you have any christmas spirit at all? and her reply was, no! You know, like that one time, I asked my mom where's Santa Claus and she was like, he retired!"
I smiled inwardly because it spelt out what I didn't know how to describe. Santa Claus retired. I mean, there was once a time I believed in the Christmas Spirit and that if I strained my ears enough I'd hear jingles and maybe Rudolph or Prancer might make some animal groan.
For a while I hoped that Santa might come down my fireplace though there isn't a chimney. It isn't even a real fireplace; it led to nowhere and it was only part of my house's design. Magic, you see.
The Christmas tree's not up this year, no one is in the mood for celebration. Gifts are redundant. Making christmas cards is a part of my childhood memories now.
I always wanted one of those artificial christmas trees that's all white and plastic but so pretty to look at when decorated with blue lights and blue ornaments.