Rendezvous
26 February 05 : 12.42 AM
While I talk to him every single night, and love to listen to him talk, I open my windows every night without fail and wish upon the first star I see.
And I'm not wishing for him.
I just can't look into his eyes and hold the gaze longer than I could with a stranger. I don't get that spark, that girlish excitement that comes with mad infatuation. It's not just about feeling the rush, it's about knowing it will not turn into love.
So I ask myself why I want to drag it on this way, being so close and such, because I'll hurt him in the end if I can't reciprocate the feeling. With all the guys that came and went, it seems like I don't have that ability to hurt a guy, to make a person love me enough to feel hurt when I leave. Am I jaded or am I just being realistic?
Well for the time being, maybe I don't really care.