Rendezvous
06 July 05 : 01.12 AM
There was this one time at school, a year or two ago, I was sitting in the school canteen with Nicole, Fel and the other guys. The canteen was packed with hungry school kids and every table was taken; we have reserved ours. We were talking and laughing crazily, and I realise my gestures were louder than usual.
Before our break ended, the place cleared and there were only pockets of people left scurrying to finish their food or just chatting. We took our time.
We were talking. Then it was quiet for a while after all the laughing.
And I started crying, in shivers even.
Nicole and Fel saw. Fel, not that good in the comfort department, tried to make jokes, and they cracked me up.
Then after I started laughing again, Fel rolled her eyes at me and said, "You're crazy, bitch."
Nicole just sat across me, and squeezed my hand knowingly.
I miss how things were. I may have been sad all the time, but I knew exactly who I could count on, what I needed most. I don't wake up for school because I know there's nothing for me to look forward to at 8 in the morning. I sleep late trying to catch that special moment in the middle of the night that feels the most magickal. I sleep in the afternoons because it's the time of the day I hate the most; too bright too hot too empty too busy. I go out with my friends at night, only at night, because the sun is too hot and night feels different.
As strange as this might sound, I think I actually miss the sadness and solitude I felt.