Rendezvous
13 November 07 : 11.41 PM
It's depressing to read the Great Gatsby. For most part, there is that tone that is almost light-hearted as evident by the seemingly pointless use of digressions in the narrative. So it should be at worst, upsetting, not depressing.
But it's not the love story, or the tragic heroism that is depressing. It's the overarching sense of excesses and materialism that pervades the novel. It's not a phenomenon that stayed in the 1920s. We live, more now than ever, in a prosperous life where many take to the reckless pursuit of materialism and wealth. I would like to think I'm above that, but sometimes I do things for the wrong reasons.
Many of my late night conversations with Kim involves future plans. After the gossip, after the talk about boys and parties and whatnot, we think about how we want to lead our lives. She remembers how disgusted she was with an exboyfriend whose dream is to live in a government-owned flat. She was disgusted by his lack of ambitions and determination to strive for something better. I say, I'm glad I'm not with my exboyfriend anymore too, because his dad's money won't last and I'm not gonna work overtime just to pay for the bills. And beer. Then we both agree that we want our men ambitious for a luxurious life, whether or not he's going to inherit it.
So what is worse actually; the hedonism and the decay, or the unthinking pursuit itself?
I'm thinking in comparison to this exgirlfriend of Dani. He told me how 2 years ago she asked him what she should do with her life, and now 2 years later she's still asking that question. So laughable. It's a mixed feeling of contempt, ridicule and pity. It's the complete opposite of that furious chase for material excess. But yet, it's not seeking a moralistic and nobler equivalent of that lifestyle. So which is better, joining the all-consuming rat race or drifting your life away?
After writing this, I'm more perplexed than ever. What started out as one question, turns into some sorta dialectic. With no conclusion in sight. Maybe this is what a good book does to you, it gets you thinking. But fuck. I just spent an hour thinking through this, when it's an hour I could have spent studying for my exams tomorrow.