Rendezvous
01 January 10 : 04.32 AM
In recent years, I always enjoy the way I count down to the new year. I don't suppose I actually remember how I used to do it, but it must have involved being around drunk people I don't care too much for. I'm glad it has gained more significance.
With my love girls again, except without Jiemin because she was home nursing a migraine. Leaning on sparkly pillows and magic carpets and arms locked. A lot of laughter mostly, the way I'm usually not with others. A lot of confessions, all things nasty and sordid and embarrassing and emotional but real nonetheless. BM was what we called the Beautiful Man for short in case people might think we're a bit perverted then Mich said, "I see BM around and fuck he is still fucking B", and I don't know why that got me off but I couldn't stop laughing. And I remember the crazy crush we all had on our teacher who was a stout little man with an intelligence like no other. Where have I been all my life? The girls were talking about the past and every other detail eluded me. I only have a vague impression of overhearing it somewhere down the line when it was no longer irrelevant. What do I actually remember, and why do I forget?
When it was after 12 where they were, my love of life called me, the usual, like last year. I love you, and I'll treat you better this year, and I'll take care of you, and I want to be with you beyond this new year. Then the best friend said I miss you, I miss you so much I'm this close to making love to you, this close but not there yet- and I replied, so how do I get you there? And we both laughed, but I laughed because I was getting good at talking like this. Then the other best friend got on the phone and said I know what your new year resolution is and I sighed and I said I love you guys man and he replied, but you must love me more because you met me first.
2009- I got a brand new family member. I took up that scholarship. I pulled my GPA up from the heap of mess that was 2008. I also went to school more. I started giving tuition while working part-time with Z. I started volunteering at an orphanage weekly. I started my driving lessons again. I dropped FFA but with no regrets. I became more patient. I started organizing my life a little more. I gained someone I think might be around in the long haul. Nothing feels in a halt anymore.